You’re tired, you’re sad or you want to be listened to. You want to share your happiness or your sadness, your goals or your fears. You need someone that will listen and that will offer you the support everyone depends on at times.
You go to her, you press the button and you insert the ticket with your problem. You wait 0.05 seconds until she answers and she’s there for you. She will ask you what happened, what’s wrong, what’s right. She promised that she will listen to anything you have to say and if you need help she’ll give a piece of her mind. She apologizes if she cannot find the suitable solution for you because at time she’s drained of energy, sometimes people have used her too much that she starts thinking that nothing she has to say is good anymore. She doesn’t bother you, she doesn’t wanna upset you, make you feel offended so at times she prefers to say nothing. But even though she’s tired, even though she’s drained by all the people that she listened to that day, that week she will keep on listening to you too. Because she’s not the one that’s important right now. You need her, you need to share your thoughts with someone so you need her even if you don’t like to admit. So she forgets about herself, she puts herself on the second place for you. When you have nothing left to say if the news were bad she will tell you that she’s there for you. She has your back, she will never leave you and she cares about you. You re not alone and no matter the gravity of the problem she will be behind your back ready at all times to pick you up if she sees you falling. If the news were good she will congratulate you, she will tell you how proud she is of you. She will tell that she knew you could do it because you and only you are amazing and special.
So at the end of the day you don’t realize her impact in your life because when your falling you notice the wall behind your back that will keep you standing only if it’s missing. When you’re going up you won’t notice the steps under your feet that keep pushing you to go up with every step you take unless they are missing.
So at the end of the day you don’t realize how it would have been without her because you know she’s unconditionally there for you. You don’t realize that in that whole 3 hour conversation that you had you never even asked, not once ’ what about you’; not even a casual ‘how are you ’ or ’ how was your day’ because truth is she makes feel like you are important so obviously you forget about the ones around you.
And what’s worse is that in reality she’s not a machine. She’s not just a vending machine you go to that’s working 24/7 for you and that’s there only to give you what you need most. She’s a human being and she has a heart, she has a soul, she has a mind and a life of her own. She has ups and downs, she has stupid bad thoughts and she has stupid good ideas that will probably never become reality but she still thinks about them. And at the end of the day she realizes that she’s been supporting everyone but not herself so she tries to do that but there’s no one there to be for her what she is for you. So she feels used, she feels hurt and unimportant because maybe she didn’t have something that important to say but knowing she had someone to listen to her would have been everything she needed to keep going.
She won’t be there forever because at one point you will drain her completely without even realizing and when you will realize that it will be too late. There will be nothing left of her. No energy left to grow herself or others.
And maybe it’s not just you. Maybe you had one bad night and that’s understandable but in that night everyone let her down. Out of the number of people she helped everyone was just too busy to help her the one time she needed.
